Beauty From Pain
by Casa Circe
Summary: Dilandau recovers from another one of the sorcerers' experiments and muses on his predicament.Set somewhere before the events of the series.I've used the song "Beauty from Pain" by Superchick. Please read and review!


Beauty from Pain

DISCLAIMER: Once again, I do not own Escaflowne or this song. I had to change some lyrics to match Dilandau more.

The bluish flame of the solitary torch flickered in the dark room. The metal walls were cold and unyielding. The silence was deafening.

A pale hand weakly struggled to against the leather straps that bound it to a metal bed. But such resistance was futile.

Crimson eyes stared at the ceiling, filled with all kinds of surgery equipment and strange mechanisms. Dilandau's gaze was blank, his bloodshot eyes glazed with fatigue. He was too weak now to try and break away from his bonds or to even scream in frustration.

He was trembling slightly, an after-effect of another one of the damn sorcerer's strange experiments. The pain they had inflicted on him this time was unbearable and he had blacked out almost immediately. Only to wake up to this emptiness, this hell.

_The lights go out all around me  
One last candle to keep out the night  
And then the darkness surrounds me  
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died  
And all that's left is to accept that it's over  
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made  
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder  
I feel like I'm slipping away  
_

But he was determined to rise above this. He had resolved never to let those monsters break him. He clenched his teeth. He would never give them the satisfaction of knowing they had defeated him. He was Dilandau Albatou, captain of the Dragonslayers! Who were they to think they could manipulate him like this?

He winced as a stab of pain struck him, his muscles tensing and his brow sweating. Another slight tremble. He made a fist.

He clenched his teeth harder and closed his eyes, trying to ignore, to forget the hurt and the solitude.

_After all this has passed, I still will remain  
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain  
Though it won't be today,  
Someday I know for sure  
There will be beauty from pain_

He had to turn his focus away from the pain that threatened to overwhelm him. He had to forget that he was alone. He hated being alone.

And then, there was that strange vision. Of a little girl weeping in a dark cell lit only by a small shaft of light. That little girl. She seemed so familiar. Who was she, who haunted his thoughts?

A sharp intake of breath. He cursed the sorcerers and their stupid, strange drugs. He wondered what they had injected in him this time to cause such unimaginable misery. All his strength was now directed towards staying conscious and ignoring the pain and sorrow that wracked his thin body and the convulsions that were threatening to destroy him.

_My whole world is the pain inside me  
The best I can do is just get through the day  
When life before is hardly a memory  
I'll wonder why Fate lets me walk through this place  
And though I can't understand why this happened  
I know that I will when I look back someday  
And see how there'll be beauty from ashes  
And I'll be as gold purified through these flames_

The flames. He had always felt an unexplainable comfort in them. Fire, to him, had represented life, vigor, triumph, and strength. He relished using a flamethrower because it gave him such an immense feeling of rejuvenation, of passion unbridled, of power.

And now, bound to a metal table, unable to move freely, a pitiful captive of dark men, his circumstances were at such opposition with his nature. But he was powerless and trapped, at the mercy of those cruel cloaked figures.

He shook his head.

_No, _he thought, _I will not let them get to me like this. I am somebody. I am a valuable asset to the Zaibach Empire, instrumental to the achievement of its glorious future. I will soon be free. They cannot keep me here forever._

He would be free. It was only a matter of time before he once again stood before his Dragonslayers, preparing to go on another mission. Perhaps another Dragon Hunt. Or a siege on enemy fortresses.

Soon he would be in the guymelef hangar, making adjustments to his Alseides, enhancing his Crima Claws, calibrating the Flame Thrower. Soon.

_Here I am, at the end of me  
Trying to hold to what I can't see  
I forgot how to hope  
This night's been so long  
I cling to a promise  
There will be a dawn_

Several hours must have passed already. The pain had subsided somewhat and his trembling had ceased. The great exertion had exhausted him and he was feebly trying to keep his eyes open.

The bluish flame flickered and the silence persisted.

He breathed deeply, recovering from his suffering. He could no longer stay awake, he had to rest, to escape this prison, at least by seeking refuge in dreams.

So he closed his eyes and settled into deep slumber, vaguely remembering a vision of a red rose floating in the clouds.

_After all this has passed, I still will remain  
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain  
Though it won't be today,  
Someday I know for sure  
There will be beauty from pain._


End file.
